myBREAST are fine:
myPSYCHE...
that's open for discussion! Okay so... I told myself I would be completely honest on this blog and that includes my negative thoughts about this surgery. Less than 5 minutes ago I completely freaked out! In 17 days someone is going to cut into my body and forever change my life. As I'm sure you've guessed, I have a flare for the dramatic
BUT nonetheless, anxiety is anxiety; mine just happens to come with a
boa, a
tiara and a sign that says "drama queen". Thanks to my cousin and care taker
Numero Uno I'm feeling much better... she calmed me down by pointing out that I'm
crazy... lol. I am admittedly a control freak. The thought of laying on a table unconscious for 5 1/2 hours while someone else is in charge makes me terrified!
THEN on top of that I am at the mercy of
Numero Uno for 4 days.
AGAIN - not in control! Well duh! Of course I'm freaking the f out! I digress... I have decided to
produce er uhm
ORGANIZE this like
a show er uhm my life (which is totally organized) Tomorrow, I make a binder. cover page will read:
"New Adventures of Old Boobies".
blog QUOTE: You know what life really is? You're born, you suck your mother's tits. You get a little older, you suck your girlfriend's tits. You get married, you suck your wife's tits. That's what life is. Life sucks. - john RYMAN
Here's to going from DOUBLE J to D; physically & psychologically -
till the next post!
The bloggers have spoken! "D" cup it is! :)
ReplyDeleteGylli! I tel you this all the time, you've got to let go and let someone else take care of you. I know you've got superwoman complex, but thats part of the reason you can trust those who love you! A super woman like yourself would only surround herself with the best kind of people! We love you and we are hear to support you!!!
URGH! I hear you when you say that... but that little voice in the back of my head is going... "girl now you know you got to produce results" but your right. It's insulting to my friends and family to think they couldn't take care of me.
ReplyDeleteI used to be just like you when I was younger and it turned me into a stressball who at any moment could explode. My life got better when I ceded control and allowed things to happen without my will being a factor. I'm not saying "Que sera, sera" but I am saying that you don't need to be in the driver's seat when it comes to your surgery and recovery.
ReplyDeleteI know that it's counter-intuitive, but there is a comfort in acquiescing to the lack of control. Take for instance this sentence:
"The thought of laying on a table unconscious for 5 1/2 hours while someone else is in charge makes me terrified! THEN on top of that I am at the mercy of Number Uno for 4 days. AGAIN - not in control!"
You don't feel like that when the sentence reads like this:
"The thought of laying on a table unconscious for 5 1/2 hours while my masseuse is in charge makes me blissful! THEN on top of that I am at the mercy of my cabana boy for 4 days. AGAIN - not in control!"
Now of course surgery is not the same thing as tropical resort living, but there are times that you hand control to others and it is rewarding. This may be one of those times. Plus I believe that there is purpose in everything. Sometimes God allows us to go through fearful things so that we'll learn how to trust him and others. That trust leads to deeper intimacy and God wants us to experience that with him and the people around us.
I hope that in the next few days as the day draws closer that even though it is not in your nature, that you'll start to program yourself for this short season to acquiescing. It's a different way of life.
And you're right, the surgeon might do something that causes you to have a longer recovery time and the people who help you as you recover might not always help you the exact way that you want- but worrying won't fix any of it. Just sit back, let it happen, and hope. We'll all do our best to be there for you.